I am quite boring at home but didn't feel like to hang out with friends any more because I'm really waiting my college life to start and really want to slack at home for these few days. Hmmm, I guess I have changed in the way that I don't know how to explain. It took me a long time to think. About college, some people might feel excited, some might be worried and I don't know which one I belonged to. I am a bit confused, telling myself to be optimistic, just like what I always asking people to be and just make myself like first day stepping in secondary school, a very new environment especially I didn't know any one of my classmates during Form 1. I started to be frightened about tomorrow, about future. These thoughts shouldn't happen on me, what fact tells me is I'm no longer that optimistic. A holiday isn't enough for me, I guess I need to get my good attitude towards new people and new stuffs back. What to do? I'm thinking about this again and again these few days. Trying my best to search the reasons and get the ways to solve. The vital cause might be the news I heard from everyone about college are mostly bad, this factor indirectly affects my mind. Cannot deny that tension is also an issue, counselling ? No, I don't think it helps for my situation now. All of us know that after graduated from secondary school, our future isn't depends on how excellent our result is but also MONEY. Society isn't cruel to us, today is just a time for us to face the reality, we need to know nothing is fantastic. About solutions, I think if I can change my mind by now and temporary forget what I heard, going to college like the first time taking a flight , try to explore every new thing with my eyesight, my heart will leap for joy and my mouth will turn into a curl naturally. If that time comes, I know that my college life will be AWESOME and 2013 will definitely be a more meaningful year. Bless me for next Monday's orientation. Everything will be all right. Some people might have a mind that Taylor is another mini Kwang Hua, so why I am afraid of? I agreed with that but I am different. If I'm entering a new environment with new people indeed, sure I will be pretty okay because no one knows my past, they won't have a mindset about me and start to compare the last time me with who I'm today. The most dreadful thing is the uncontrollable comments and gossips even they don't know me well.